Strange that I am sitting down to write a post about pumping, but it was such a big part of my life for a year, so I feel like I must! This is one of those posts that is just for me to look back to remember how things were.
I never intended to exclusively pump breast milk for Evin. I had planned on breastfeeding, but I didn't really know how long I planned on doing it, and would just tell myself I would do it as long as I felt that I could.
When Evin was born, she started latching after a day or so and really started getting the hang of breastfeeding. Then, we learned of her heart defect, she was taken to the NICU, and she was intubated. Breastfeeding was out.
I started pumping then, and pumped like it was my job the entire time we were in the hospital (and after). I pumped every 3 hours, pretty much on the dot. I remember the nurses commenting on how it was like watching a clock as to when I was pumping. I felt so helpless as a mom, with my baby going through heart surgery, being intubated, and stuck laying in a hospital bed. I felt like all that I could do to "help" her was to be by her side, and to provide breastmilk for her. So I pumped. A LOT. I remember nurses commenting on how I had a good milk supply, but I didn't think much of it. I didn't really know any different, since I had never had a baby before.
When we were finally discharged from Cooks, we had bags and bags of frozen breastmilk to take home. I was pumping WAY more than Evin was eating, so I had a really good supply of frozen milk stored up. So much, that it wouldn't fit in our freezer at home. I stored some at my mom's house and I was able to eliminate one of the middle of the night pumping sessions since I had so much milk already.
The first couple of months at home with Evin were HARD. They were hard for many reasons, but to sum it up:
-we were helping our newborn recover from heart surgery
-since she was a heart baby, she struggled while eating (it took her an hour to take a bottle)
-we went to the doctor a lot (cardiologist & pediatrician)
-we were pretty much on house arrest for fear that she would get sick if we exposed her to too many germs
-we were on pins & needles with the unknown of when her next heart surgery would be
-we felt pressure to get her to gain weight so she would be nice and strong for her next surgery
-I was doing double the work since I had to pump for 30 minutes and then feed Evin for an hour (I did this every 3 hours, so by the time I finished pumping, finished feeding, washed all the bottle parts/pumping parts, I only had about an hour until I started the process again)
It was stressful.
When making bottles for Evin, I would pull the oldest frozen milk from the freezer, thaw it, and use that since you can only keep frozen milk in a freezer for a certain amount of time before it is considered "bad" to give your baby. I would freeze the milk I was pumping to use for later. When Evin was around 3-4 months old, I started getting lazy and instead of pulling frozen milk out to thaw, I would use the milk I had just pumped to make bottles for Evin. I did this for a couple of days, then decided I should get back into the routine of using the frozen milk, so it wouldn't end up going to waste. Well, the little toot started REFUSING to drink milk that had been frozen. I tested her several times and she would take a few swigs of frozen milk and refuse the entire rest of the bottle, but would happily drink milk that was just pumped. DIVA.
I felt like crying since I had a freezer full of frozen milk that would have easily been enough for Evin to drink for at least a month. That would have been a month earlier that I could have stopped pumping and she still would have had breastmilk. That was no longer an option since Picky Paula decided she was too good for frozen milk.
When we had been discharged from Cooks, a nurse had given me a flier for the North Texas Milk Bank and information about donating breast milk. I ended up being able to donate all the frozen milk to the Milk Bank. It went to babies in the NICU that couldn't receive breast milk from their own mommy for various different reasons. I am happy to say that I was able to donate 1,037 ounces of milk to the Milk Bank. I hope it helped some sweet babies grow big and strong!
After Evin's second surgery, the pumping slowed down a little. My body naturally started making less milk as Evin started dropping bottles. She slowly decreased from 7 to 6 to 5 bottles over the course of several months. I was able to decrease pumping sessions as well.
I still hadn't really set a goal of how long I had planned on pumping. I had thought I would stop when there was something that prevented me from pumping any longer. I had originally thought I would stop when I went back to work, but I was able to pump on my conference period or at lunch, so it ended up working out fine.
I am proud to say I was able to pump for Evin for a full year! I slowly started dropping pumping sessions right around her 1st birthday, and we started transitioning her to cow's milk. It was a pretty easy transition for us both! I now think often of how I am so thankful that I no longer have to sit and pump.
I am not saying that I look down upon people who do not breastfeed for a year, because I don't. At all. Honestly, if it weren't for Evin's heart condition, I am can pretty confidently say that I wouldn't have breast feed for a full year. Pumping made me feel like I was doing my part in keeping her healthier than she would have been otherwise. I can't even say that I will breastfeed for a full year again for baby #2 (whenever that may be). It was HARD. I am also hoping baby #2 will be able to nurse rather than me pumping and putting in twice the work.
Positives of my year of pumping:
-It was the best thing for Evin at the time
-It was cheaper than formula (although we still had to buy formula to supplement for weight gain, but we didn't have to buy as much as we would have if she were only on formala)
-I could eat whatever I wanted and not gain weight, in fact I was still losing weight! This is no longer the case since I've stopped pumping...
Best things about kissing the pump goodbye:
-Not getting up 35 minutes earlier every morning just so I could pump before going to school
-Not having to pack up pumping parts and lug that pumping bag around with me everywhere I go
-No more washing pumping parts/bottles
-Not having to stop what I am doing every couple of hours just to sit hooked up to a machine
I am proud of myself for making it as far as I did but, MAN, I am happy it is over!
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